| Well today is one of those days where I seem to have a million things on my mind and cant seem to figure them out. I am starting to see thing differently and dont know what to do. Since i have been in Missouri have learned a lot of things and my opinions on things have changed. I have realized that i dont really know anything. My life is at that point where i am being pulled in many different directions and i am just trying to figure out which way to go. I thought things were a lot clearer but now that i look again they arnt what they seem. It has been a time of prayer and trying to let God show me where my life is headed. Sometimes that is harder said than done. I feel that i dont fully let God take over my life and i try to make decisions with out prayer and they never seem to be the right decisions. I am now fully at the mercy of my loving God to direct me in the path that he has for me. He brought me here and so now i just need to let him do his work in me and not fight it. I am at a point where my faith is low and it seems like i am alone but i know i am not because He is with me. I thought i was a person that was good at understanding people to a certian extent but lately i am confused about people and why they do or say certian things. Also their body language and what they are really trying to say without saying it. I dont have the answers that i want but when in life does a person ever know what is going to happen what would be the fun in knowing what is going to happen all the time. I once again need to trust God that he is going to provide for me everything that i need and knows all. |
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| well it been a while since i have written om this thing but i cant sleep and i decided to wrtie some stuff down. Well if you dont know i am now attending baptist bible college in springfield missouri. it is a lot different from being home in houston. I am starting to get used to the change of lifestyle from back home to here. The people are really nice and i have made some really nice friends that are great to hang out with. i love school up here i learn a lot in my classes and kinda like some of them which is great. There are a lot of things that have changed since i have been home and many of them are surprises to me. i miss everybody from back home but i love it here. i didnt think that it would be this easy of a transition from houston to springfield but it has gone rather smoothly with only a couple minor bumps along the way. i am trying to get usede to some things that are a lot different than they were when i was home. well i got to go and try to get some sleep so i can get up for church tommorow |
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| Today has been a good day but there is always something on my mind. It always seems like i always have to make a choice between the past and the future. This choice always has to deal with girls for some reason. I hate having to choose and i never know if i am making the right decision. In one hand you have the past girl that you we in love with in high school and then she broke your heart and now yall are friends but you dont know if you can fully trust her for some reason. You feel that she is hiding things but you cant prove it. Then in the other hand you got the new girl who you think you like but are sure if its just cause she is the new girl or if you really have feelings for her. I also dont want to pick the wrong one and miss out on something good. I guess thats how the world is and i am just stuck in the middle not knowing with to choose and also not wanting to get hurt again cause thats not fun. |
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| today is one of those days where you just feel weird and dont really know why. I went to work and came home and was thinking about how weird today felt. i wish i knew why it was like this but i dont so i guess i am just going to have to deal with it and move on. I dont understand how girls work. its weird you think you know what they are thinking and they through you a curve ball and its totally different. I just wish i could understand what they were thinking so i would put my self in situations that were pointless. I guess that is a thing guys will never know. going to church talk to you later see ya. |
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| well today was a long day. i had to work and then i came home and had a bunch of stuff to do. I have been really tired lately. I am about to go to bed but i just wanted to write something. |
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